Views from an Adult

Funny how things change, I am now 36 years old and I feel like a total old lady. When I was younger I remember how fun dating men was and how I thought I would never want to settle down. I never wanted to be part of a couple; all I wanted was to date as many men as I could. I used to go out at least 4 days a week and it was always with a different guy. I went to concerts, candle light dinners and to every club in the downtown area. The city was my play area and I just could not get enough of it or of dating men.

Ten years later I have done it all and I have seen it all. Dating men is no longer fun but more of a necessity. I am almost going to be 40 and I feel the clock inside my body ticking away. My insides are screaming for a baby and I can't find a single guy who wants to settle down. Now I am the one that wants to be a couple but now the guys that wanted that with me before have moved on and are living happy lives with their families. Meanwhile I still sit in this city; I sit at the bars and in the clubs. Waiting for that perfect man to walk into my life and change it for ever.

Had I know years ago that my love for dating men would one day lead me to a lonely life I might have done things differently. Well, it's easy to say that now but I hope that I would have. I just never realized that it would keep going the same for so long. I was sure that eventually I would find the right guy and that I would settle down and have a family. I never realized that by the time I would want it the guys my age would only be interested in twenty year old girls. I am too old for the guys my age and much too old for the younger ones. If I look for an older man then I would have to give up on having children because they already have their own. Now this city has become a prison for me, a prison that I might never leave. I am among millions of people yet I am all alone.